To sleep perchance to.... bah humbug!!!!

Well here I am again. Been a while... Not like anyone uses or reads these things anymore.

Well it's been about a year and half since I've been posting here. And in retrospect the whole time has been one hell of ride. Complete with its share of ups and downs. But like somone once said "it's not the destination that's important, but the journey to get there" (or something like that, can't really remember how it goes) And it has been quite a journey, one that i have been prowd to take with all of you (everyone important in my life) and one that we will share for a long time, "from here to eternity. " Only part of the way there yet.

Well speeking of journey's i think i've reached a point in mine where i need to really slow down and ocasionaly stop to "smell the roses" enjoy life of course. But sometimes like all things that is easier said than done.

Ok thats enough speeking metaphorically. it's a real turning point in my life right now. And it has been for about a year and a half ago, when i realized that i could overcome things that i believed to be out of my power. but for what ever reason there is always another hurdle in my way. And who knows maybe sometimes i put obstacles in my own way. But i want you all to know that I am much more confident of myself and where i am heading in life. You all have your own problems and need not worry about anything else. I need to start doing the same, but people need not worry about me, i am quite capable of looking after myself. This might be hard to believe. But after everything i have acomplished and overcome in the last 8 years i now realize that i do indeed have the strength to live my life. To live it the way i feel best. Making people understand this though is very dificult at the moment. People are just that 'people' and they do worry. But i am tired of not worying about myself. No offense to anyone. I do really care about those around me, but i am tired of feeling like i'm carying the world on my shoulders." And more recently i am tired of the world shouldering me. Don't get me wrong i still really need the people who are dear and near to me. I know I am not alone in this sentiment, i guess most people go through this at much earlier times in thier lives than i have. This is when i need friends, family, and the one dearest to me the most, but please have faith in me, I have had emense faith in all of you over the years, even when it may not have seemed that way. I just need time to mend, to heal, so please just be yourselves, don't let the problems of others overwhelm you. Time is too precious a thing to waste on doubt and worry. If you don't know what to believe then at least believe in yourself, and those who care about you. This we all need to do. I know i probably sound too preachy right now, but i guess i need to hear myself say this, as much as anyone else needs to hear it. And I do believe in myself, and all of you. So forget about reading this if you have to or pretend i didn't even say if need be. But i guess this blog is probably more important to me than anyone else, as i look back on it, it reminds me.. reminds of where i have come from, and where i hope to one day be.

Well ok i guess i have to stop writing now. And don't worry about me guy's i'm doing just fine. Be talking to you all soon.